oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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