i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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