well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
a search helicopter?!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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