$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
