I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm at about main and main street
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
