Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she looked like the before picture.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize