playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
