How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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