quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
