youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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