no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
