accomplished twins. life is a go
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
