Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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