he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
