I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
