So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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