even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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