k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
