the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
