You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
