just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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