Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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