no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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