He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
