he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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