She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize