Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
