May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
