i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
