Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize