That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
