So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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