she was so not down for the gang bang
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize