I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
