You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
