xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
