Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
