You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
