I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
