the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
