I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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