I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
