If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
its not stalking. its research.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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