I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
