He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I need a burrito and a hug.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
