I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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