I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
