I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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