im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
