Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Less talking, more tequila
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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