what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
