Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
