One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
