Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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