She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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