Only a mothe r could love this liver
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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